On Tuesday, 13 April 2021 at 12.28pm Remesh, Sarada Menon’s son, called: “Uncle, it’s a matter of days now.”
I heard this jolting news with a sinking heart. It was only one sentence, but that single sentence had such a shattering effect on me.
Sarada, a Kirkby-trained teacher and poet, was someone I had grown close to over the last seven years. Though in the past I had spoken to her and communicated via email, it was only after the 2014 Penang Kirkby reunion that I got to know Sarada. [The reunion was for teachers trained at the Malayan Teachers’ Training College in Kirkby, Liverpool from 1952 to 1962, to lay the foundation of the education system in Malaya, which gained independence in 1957.]
We became even closer after the 2018 Johor Bahru Kirkby reunion. Shortly after the reunion, she confided in me she was diagnosed with cancer.
We kept in touch very often and our conversations were long. Sarada shared her progress following her treatment and the aftermath she went through. Sometimes the chemotherapy took a heavy toll on her and her body was wracked with pain. The sessions were long, and the treatment was repeated several times.
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In March 2021 when I called her, Sarada said, “Rama, I can’t take it any longer. I’m stopping the treatment.”
I called her on 6 April 2021 just after 8pm; her grandson went to take a look in her bedroom and came back and informed me that Sarada was resting.
The next day she texted me: Sorry. Will call. Very bad reactions.
She must have been admitted to hospital soon after that. It was only when Remesh called to inform me of Sarada’s rapidly failing health that I knew she was in hospital and her condition was critical and causing concern to her family.
I felt this compulsive urge to keep in touch with Sarada until the very end, to bolster her spirits and make her aware that there are caring friends.
14 April 2021, Wednesday
I messaged Sarada via Remesh over WhatsApp: Hi Sarada! This is Rama from Penang. You have been in my thoughts and prayers these few days. You have been a wonderful friend to me and Poh Yuk. We are grateful and cherish your friendship. Over the last six years or so we became very good friends. I remember you as a good and decent human being. It is said, “If you have nothing in life but a good friend, you’re rich. I’m rich because of you my dear friend. Friends become our chosen family. You are part of my family, my dear Sarada. We’ll talk again. – RAMA & POH YUK. (3.43pm)
Remesh: I’ll show this to mother, Uncle. (4.02pm)
15 April 2021, Thursday
Hi Sarada! It’s me again – Rama from Penang.
My dear sister, I want you to know that I may not be there with you, but I will always be there for you.
Even though we are far apart you will always be in my little heart!
Stay well, my dear Sarada. (5.15pm)
16 April 2021, Friday
My dear Sarada, “Friendship is a sheltering tree.” – Samuel Taylor Coleridge
“Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends.” – Jacques Delille
You are the chosen one, my dear Sarada! (8.23am)
Remesh: That’s lovely uncle. Thank you. (8.23am)
17 April 2021, Saturday
I texted Sudesh: Is your mum able to speak? Is she conscious of her surroundings? (8.33am)
Sudesh: Ma is not able to speak clearly. She’s semi conscious. Somehow she does recognize close relatives and old friends when they talk to her. She became attentive, though still semi conscious, yesterday when Uncle Pani was talking to her about the old days in Kirkby. She smiled and looked in his direction. Jessica (his wife) stayed overnight. She just updated us that she is less responsive this morning. The doctors saw her a few minutes ago. They believe it will be any day now. (8.38am)
Me: My dear Sudesh I’m devastated – such a good person and a loyal friend. (8.43am)
Sudesh: I fully appreciate how you feel Uncle. We are all not ready to let my mother go. 57+ years with her seems like being short changed. Personally, I feel like I’m 10 years old, and my mother is about to be taken from me.
That said, Amma has lived a full, rich life. From her early days, to Kirkby and all the contributions she made to the betterment of so many lives. She is surrounded by love and deep, deep respect from people that cross all generations. Like others of your generation, she has gone the extra mile each time to keep & nurture her friendships.
Over the two years or so she has been getting treated, her doctors, nurses and other caregivers have fallen for her. Some have even requested to be there at the end. She is the darling of the ward. She’s getting VIP treatment at the hospital and they’ve bent rules so multiple visitors can see her 24/7.
And my brothers and our wonderful, wonderful wives are very united, as always. Such a blessing. Something my mother has always been happy about.
Still, the tears flow, Uncle. Anywhere and everywhere. In private and in public. This will not be easy to overcome. (8.56am)
We are all deeply touched Uncle. You have been such a good friend to our mother. (9.26am)
Me to Ramesh: My dear Sarada, I have had many acquaintances along the way but when l met you, I finally found a real friend. (12.23pm)
Then, the dreaded news came.
Remesh: Mother just passed away peacefully surrounded by her sons and her sisters. (6.45pm)
Again, it was a single sentence that dealt a deathblow. Sometimes it only takes a single sentence to bring your world crashing down.
Sarada was from the fifth batch of Malaysian teacher trainees in Kirkby College in the UK.
Pany once stated she was the prettiest girl in college and she was a superb ballroom dancer, especially the tango. According to him, “She remembers the number of times I stepped on her toes.”
Sarada could be very open and frank in her views. She was never afraid to express herself. She was spiritually pious and did charity work by feeding the poor very quietly without any publicity.
When Poh Yuk had to undergo two heart procedures, and later when I had mine, she offered prayers for both of us in India – made the arrangement and made the payment.
On top of that, she and five of her friends prayed on the day of the second procedure as well.
Sarada: “l will chant VISHNU SAHASRANAMAM (1000 names of VISHNU…….the protector.) Am only telling U this as a consolation for U. Otherwise I wd do it quietly on my own.”
I wrote to her: My dear Sarada, you are one friend who goes out of the way to pray for the welfare of your friends. You have done that for us before and we are grateful to you to this day! Friends like you mean a lot to us.
After the 2018 JB Kirkby reunion, she wrote on 12 July 2018: Was a little concerned about P. Y. She wasn’t as bubbly as the last time. Do let me know about her health.
She was the only one to have noticed that all was not well with Poh Yuk. Eighteen days later, on 1 August 2018, Poh Yuk had her heart procedure done in Alor Setar.
Sarada was a remarkable woman of fortitude and faith. She lost her husband when she was only 47, on 29 November 1984. Single-handedly. she raised three wonderful children, saw them through university. They are now successful in their careers and happily married. She was very fond of her daughters-in-law and six grandchildren.
Remesh reflects:
Mum was a career educator. She studied in the Convent boarding school in Malaysia and later taught at the Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus in Singapore from 1969 till she retired. She was the head of the English department in the school in the later part of her career.
Year after year, she put out the annual school magazine. She ran the school’s library with the same organisational gusto she lived her life. After retirement, she continued to teach creative writing. She was highly in demand as the private tutor who would produce A-grade students with regularity.
She also continued to write – poetry, short stories, quirky observations. She loved to write and had an innate flair for words. To commemorate her 80th birthday, the family (and Partridge Publishing) collated some of her writing into an anthology – Memories, Moments, Milestones: An Anthology. The book was distributed to friends and family.
Mum also loved music – what she called “real music” – a dig at contemporary pop music. Her idea of music was Tommy Dorsey, Nat King Cole and others of that era – what we call the “golden oldies”.
She was also enthusiastic about Carnatic music. In her early 40s, she learnt to play the veena – a traditional Indian stringed instrument. She also had a melodious singing voice, which she used often for singing hymns or bhajans (Indian devotional songs).
As a teacher, she was old school – strict but caring. Decades after leaving her class, many of her students still kept in touch with her. She touched their lives. Her years of service were recognised by the Ministry of Education.
But there was much that she did for family, friends and complete strangers – service done without fanfare – that she enjoyed. She would quietly help the less advantaged and the downtrodden with donations and, more importantly, with her time and a kind word.
One example of this: two migrant workers badly injured in an accident were left to recuperate in a home, their situations bleak. Sarada visited them regularly with goodie bags and a dose of moral support to bolster their spirits.
She’d regularly organise meals for the needy in India.
And she was happy to help tutor kids from disadvantaged backgrounds. She was a teacher through and through.
Although she lived in Singapore for most of her life, Mum always said she was in her heart a Malaysian.
Sarada Panicker (Sarada Menon)
1 July 1937 – 17 April 2021
I’ve lived this life –
With
More blessings than I can count
My earthly journey’s complete
I’ve begun another –
Forgive my transgressions
Forgive my omissions
Peace I’ve tried to have
With one and all
If I’ve failed
Bear no grudges
Remember our good imes
Remember me in your daily prayers
With Love, Sarada
AGENDA RAKYAT - Lima perkara utama
- Tegakkan maruah serta kualiti kehidupan rakyat
- Galakkan pembangunan saksama, lestari serta tangani krisis alam sekitar
- Raikan kerencaman dan keterangkuman
- Selamatkan demokrasi dan angkatkan keluhuran undang-undang
- Lawan rasuah dan kronisme
Reading through what came out deep from your heart, I became a part of you. But let’s take courage – she has earned a glorious after-like one she deserves most.