It was appropriate that Dr Mahathir led the delegates in doa selamat prayers as he brought the UMNO General Assembly 2000 to a close. When all else fails, divine intervention might work, Dr M seemed to cry out. In fact, many Malaysians have already been praying for some time, for an even more thorough overhaul of UMNO, indeed, of the entire BN-dominated political system which has been entrenched for more than four decades. Alas, all that praying has had little effect thus far. Hence the possibility of the newly elected UMNO leaders taking over the reins of power is quite real.

Lacklustre

No doubt, he's more savvy about globalisation, IT and the K-economy than say, Ghafar Baba, a one-time deputy premier. But current heir-apparent Pak Lah remains lacklustre. Indeed, he is a poor imitation of His Master's Voice and does not appear to have ideas of his own on how to overcome the present political malaise threatening UMNO and Malaysia.

The three newly elected UMNO vice presidents do not inspire confidence either. Take Najib Tun Razak, now Defence Minister, but who made a mess of educational affairs previously. Although he topped the list of nine candidates who offered themselves for the three vice-presidents' posts, he is not exactly popular outside of UMNO. In the 1999 elections he won his Pekan parliamentary seat by only 241 votes, or a mere 0.9 per cent majority over his Pas challenger.

There's Mat Taib. Of course, he's been acquitted in the Malaysian and Australian courts of charges of falsely declaring or failing to declare cash and assets. Surely nobody now believes that he's anything but clean. Yet there's still this lingering concern about his command of the English language, which by his own admission in the Australian court, is not so good-lah. That's not a problem right now for he does not hold any official government position. But imagine if Mat Taib was to represent Malaysia in negotiations with Abu Sayyaf types, and miscommunicates with his half-past-six English….It could turn out fatal.

And then there's Muhyiddin, now domestic trade and consumer affairs minister. Some say he was elected because he was part of the original "Wawasan Team" in 1993. But what is his wawasan, if any, right now ? Not that the other six candidates for the vice presidency have better wawasan and credentials, not even Osu Sukam or Ghani Othman, reportedly Mahathir's preferred candidates. Come to think of it, why was Dr M so disappointed with the choice of the delegates? Yes, Dr M did denounce the practice of "money politics" by which he meant vote-buying. Surely he's not implying that the winners were involved in vote-buying!

At any rate, Dr M did not denounce money politics understood in the wider sense. He could not, and so said nothing about UMNO and UMNO leaders mixing politics and business. Nor did he rave against cronyism – why, in previous years he'd said that everyone in UMNO was a crony and had been beneficiary to government largesse. It's not vote-buying per se which is the source of UMNO's present predicament. It's an entire party system built upon patronage and loyalty to the leader, devoid of the principles of justice, equality and fair play for the entire Malay community, principles which used to characterise UMNO's struggle. A return to the original UMNO cause requires more than prayers.

Or by introducing compulsory religious classes for that matter! Dr Hamid Othman, minister in the PM's department, and recently re-elected to the UMNO supreme council, is now proposing that Muslim civil servants attend compulsory religious classes two hours a week. "We want them to be committed and motivated in carrying out their responsibilities", he declared. But he let the cat out of the bag when in reply to questions he explained that these classes were to "curb the religious deviation caused by irresponsible lecturers who preach their own views and not the true teachings as in the Quran". Apparently, these civil servants have been too easily influenced by the Pas point of view. Hamid, who was defeated in the general elections, and had to be appointed as senator in order to get back to the cabinet, still cannot understand why he lost except by pointing his finger at others.

Penangites are all aware that their chief minister has been all hustle and bustle these past months. No, Tsu Koon has not been engrossed in finding alternative housing for those forced to relinquish their homes and shop lots due to the repeal of the Rent Control Act and the resultant soaring rise in rent; for many Penangites, an SOS affair. Neither is it because he's busily co-ordinating and overseeing the detailed proposals – concerning land use and industrial development, environmental protection, flood mitigation, traffic congestion, conservancy and recreational facilities, low-cost housing, etc – all so urgently needed to realise the noble goals contained in the Penang Strategic Development Plan.

Tsu Koon has been busy organising temporary housing, food and transportation, reviewing plans and co-ordinating the various groups involved in making Sukma 2000 a success. The media reports that he's been checking things out personally, everyday. Indeed, he's everywhere and doing everything: at the opening ceremony; giving out lucky draw prizes; walking around with Bang Bayan (he with the pants) and Chombee (she with the skirt); trouble shooting and problem solving at the Sukma secretariat located in USM; escorting Dr M to the closing ceremony; you name it. As the media suggested, he should be given the gold medal.

Organising an event like Sukma is time consuming and can be overwhelming. No doubt, when the chief minister is in charge many more will respond quickly, donate time, energy and funds, etc. Chances are that problems get solved more easily and there will be a higher success rate.

Yet, in spite of Tsu Koon's efforts, Sukma 2000 set a record of sorts by making 582 changes to the original schedule, some at the eleventh hour ! It was a nightmare for the media. There were also complaints of the poor quality of food, terrible accommodation, stinking toilets (complete with Unidentified Floating Objects), lack of parking and traffic jams in Batu Kawan and elsewhere, of an uneven astro-turf hockey pitch not laid out according to specifications, and of the high-tech digital score board in Komtar costing RM6 million flashing everything but the latest results as it was originally purchased to do. Moreover, many matters, some very urgent, had to be put on hold, because of the chief minister's total involvement in Sukma 2000.

In this era of decentralisation and privatisation, it is pertinent to ask whether top government officers should still be responsible for organising mammoth sporting events like Sukma ? A related issue is the involvement of the same people in the various sports associations. Is this what they were elected and paid to do? Are they really knowledgeable about the sport and indispensable for the sport's development? The Thomas Cup fiasco, the stagnation of football and athletics seem to suggest that the people in charge are not necessarily doing a good job.

Why not step aside, and let some others, more professional and technically competent, take over ? They might not gain the co-operation of others immediately. However, given time and love for the sport concerned, the right people for the job will come to be in charge and the sport actually develop (without interference from meddling officials who have little technical knowledge of the sports they are involved in.) At any rate, Malaysia Boleh.

This will also free our government leaders from sports so that they can concentrate on the jobs that they were elected to perform, by which is meant, not only solving housing and transportation woes, but issues like reinstituting rule of law, accountable government, putting in place checks and balances, seeking out avenues for participatory democracy, etc.

As it is, with Sukma 2000 over, Tsu Koon, also president of the Football Association of Penang, is now going ga-ga over the the Penang football team, which has made it to the FA Cup Final. Is he a sports fanatic or what? Or is it the sense of power that he derives from presiding over sports spectacles?

I'm all in favour of organising "durian specials", in whatever form, to attract local and foreign tourists to Malaysia's tourist resorts. Even if the foreigners are turned off by the pungent smell of the raja buah-buahan, we locals can guarantee that there will be no waste. This is earthy ecotourism.

But no, there's not enough of a spectacle involved here. Either that, or there's something about the tourism portfolio that drives those in charge to quite ludicrous extents. Consider: soon after his appointment as minister of culture, arts and tourism, Kadir Sheikh Fadzir proposed that Malaysians should introduce a common way of greeting foreigners by placing our right hand over our heart. This form of greeting is completely alien to us, of course. No matter. Even if it was not such a silly suggestion, it might still succeed over a period of time, provided there's consensus by all Malaysians, but especially those involved in the hospitality industry – hoteliers, taxi drivers, immigration personnel, airport and railway workers, rickshaw pullers, shopkeepers, etc – to implement the proposal.

Yet, amidst some fanfare, only a mini spectacle really, this new form of greeting was launched in a Penang hotel in May. Mind you, the other Penang hotels have not decided to follow suit. They are still advising the foreigners to use the right hand (never the left, stupid) to eat durians. Others, including taxi drivers, in exasperation over the traffic jams, still use their right hands to signal *#@* , a la the mentri besar of Pahang, at other drivers.

Meanwhile, in Kuala Lumpur, Kadir was pushing on with a bigger spectacle, the Citrawarna Malaysia, or "Colours of Malaysia" parade. Held for the first time last year, he was now boldly proclaiming that the parade would soon be as famous as the samba parades of Rio de Janeiro. In fact he claimed that the KL parade would even be "better than those in Rio de Janeiro and Los Angeles [presumably the Rose Bowl floral parade]". I cannot attest to this. Did anybody catch the parade in KL on May 27?

Not to be outdone, Penang's Tourism Committee chair, Mdm Kee Phaik Cheen announced plans to hold the Penang Merdeka International Food Carnival 2000. The carnival would involve more than 220 food-stalls and stretch the 1.7 km length of Gurney Drive. The goal, she proudly proclaimed, would be "to break the record for the longest beach buffet in the country covering 1.4 km set in Nov 1994", also organised under her auspices. There would also be a lucky draw and entertainment – cultural dances, live bands, a magician and clowns. A gold medal for her too? So this is the stuff of politics in Malaysia! Now who elected these clowns into power?

Now you hear him, now you don't. With a wave of the wand, Wee Choo Keong, whatever the name of his party, is back in the news. So too some other leader of the Malaysian Ceylonese Congress branch in Port Dickson, whatever his name. But the prize for making a spectacle of himself goes to…(read on)

I  have served as a Cabinet Minister for a long time (14 years) and now is the right time for me to retire. I am going in a happy mood because my time to go has come. Sometimes when it's time to go...you have to go. (Politicians come and go. But in Malaysia, they go and come, or come and come!)

I am not here to debate anymore.

I will not change my mind even if there is a strong appeal from top party leaders. Ah Lek and I are good friends...party vice-president Chan Kong Choy can now have my post. My decision is irrevocable, I want it to be respected. I informed the Prime Minister of the matter last week. I can't tell you Mahathir's reaction — that's privileged information! (Dr Mahathir will surely understand — he himself finds it very hard to "go".)

I have agreed to think over my decision to resign as Transport Minister, following strong appeals from party leaders and members. (Strange, for someone who has been thinking, for several years,  of leaving, it took less than a day to change your mind.)

I get unpopular sometimes because I ask people to go, they get

very angry with me, but this is the unpleasant side of  leadership. (Well, at least they only get angry with you. Sometimes when we simple folks ask unpopular Ministers to go, they throw us in jail, disturb our business, beat us up on the streets and label us traitors. It can be quite unpleasant having to deal with leaders.)

I will heed the PM's advice to me to reconsider my decision. I will let you all know tomorrow. (You forgot yesterday's script?)

Taking the PM's advice, I am going on two weeks leave  to think over my decision. But my quit decision stays! (Finding it hard to respect your own irrevocable decision?)

PM told me that although he agreed with me last week that I can resign (privileged information?), after watching the reaction nation-wide he now thinks...I should not go... he thinks I should stay...keep my letter of resignation, take two weeks of leave and think very carefully and come back. (How could the PM even agree to accept your resignation and think that the MCA  does not want you — such "evil" thoughts.)

I will submit my application for leave and go to a quiet place, take a rest and take time to think. (Yes, it must have taken a lot out of you to come up with such a pulsating performance. You need much rest. The nation needs some quiet too — after the "sound and fury signifying nothing". Alas, it will also give the PM two weeks to think things over.)

My decision to quit is because I felt it is time to do so, though it may not be the perfect time. I have been thinking of resigning from the Government a few years ago as I wanted to make way for younger leaders. If you are serious (about resigning) you don't give any indication. If you are not serious, of course you bisik-bisik  (whisper) here and there, hoping people will tell you not to go,  don't go. I have been talking about this for a few years (!!). (Yes, you just talked about it — no whispers — no indication — you never did hope that people will tell you not to go, don't go! You have been thinking — for several years — and you need another two more weeks to think?)

When all these people (whom you have trained) are ready, promote them and you yourself must be prepared to go. Don't segan-segan (be embarrassed). Of course you yourself must be prepared to go. (Who are the young leaders in the Transport Ministry you have trained? After all appointment in a Ministry is the prerogative of the PM!)

I  have served as the president of MCA  (also for 14 years). I will not step down as president of MCA. (Not making way for younger leaders in MCA, Datuk Seri? What about : "No man is indispensable. Things will go on."? )

Please give me a few more days. (Well, you did say that you have been thinking over the past few years to resign - a few more days will not make much difference!

But why the hurry to get back from Down Under, Datuk Seri? Frighten that if the opera goes on too long, your ardent followers may discover it has all been pure bisik bisik, or are you just too segan segan to go after all...!

The one thousand people at the airport - were they there to scream "don't go" or were they sent by a few so fearful that they too may have to join in the Chinese opera, without you in the MCA?)

I will stay. I will continue to serve. ("I have served as a Cabinet Minister for a long time (14 years) and now is the right time for me to retire.")

I have made up my mind (to stay). ("I will not change my mind (to resign) even if there is a strong appeal from top party leaders.")

I'm respecting the wishes of all the party members, community leaders, friends and supporters...

I am touched, I am overwhelmed by the strong sentiments of support they have expressed, urging me to reconsider my decision.

Thus goes the Chinese opera of a Senior Cabinet Minister who is also the President of a major political party and a student of Sun Tzu's Art of War — who out-manoeuvred himself, looking like a fool of the new millennium.

Thus goes the Barisan Nasional's circus of consolidation co-operation and consensus.