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Strange things happen in Bolehland

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Bolehland is a country of strange coincidences, observes Tota, as he looks at Malaysian politicians’ recent visits to the Vatican, India, the US, Kazakhstan, and Taiwan.

Najib with the Pope

It is generally believed that after meeting the Pope one comes away with one’s heart, mind and soul purified. But it appears Najib came home untouched by his meeting with His Holiness the Pope.

It appears that the visit to the Vatican was an attempt to win Christian ballots in the next election. The government has committed a long list of actions against the Christian community — banning of bibles in Bahasa Malaysa, banning the use of “Allah” by Christians and frequent accusations of Christians trying to convert Muslims.

It appears that good can never touch evil in a positive way. As soon as he returned from Rome, he accused Bersih 2.0, led by Ambiga, of attempting to topple the government and grab power. What a terrible lie!

Come to think of it, I would not mind a woman PM in Malaysia. All our neighbours, with the exception of Singapore, have had women leaders — India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Indonesia and lately Thailand. I am sure a woman will do a better job than the Umno men we have had so far.

Mahathir in search of his roots

Mahathir in Kerala
Mahathir during a private visit to Kerala in December 2010 - Photograph: Consulate General of Malaysia in Chennai website www.kln.gov.my

Najib’s great mentor, Mahathir, went to India. His first stop was Mumbai before he went to Kerala — in search of his roots, I suppose? In Mumbai he met up with Shahrukh Khan, his hero. Shahrukh Khan’s wife is a Hindu and his two children are being brought up as Hindus until they are old enough to decide for themselves which religion they want to belong to.

He returned to Malaysia obviously untouched by the world’s biggest democracy — a secular state where human rights and liberties and freedom of religion are an everyday reality.

Mahathir came back to apparently wallow in the racial and religious gutter of Perkasa, whose patron he is.

Country of coincidences

Bolehland is a country of strange coincidences.

After the Bersih 2.0 march on Saturday, 9 July, the editors of all Mandarin newspapers were summoned to the Home Ministry for a “dialogue”. Obviously, the powers-that-be were displeased about the way the newspapers had covered the Bersih 2.0 march. Any suggestion that it was intimidation was denied by the Ministry of Home Affairs, which maintained that it was mere coincidence.

Najib denied ever meeting Saiful but his later admission proved that he had lied. Then it was given out that it was coincidence. Saiful, a university dropout, had gone to see Najib for a scholarship, it seemed. Of course, one cannot expect a university dropout to know that the right person to see was the Minister of Education.

Please do not accuse Najib of using taxpayers’ money to attend his daughter’s convocation in the US. The fact that the daughter’s convocation took place at the same time as his official visit to the US was a mere coincidence! Was his daughter on a PSD scholarship? No one knows because the names of the receipients of PSD scholarships are under the Official Secrets Act!

Again Najib did not use taxpayers’ money to visit his daughter’s fiance in Kazakhstan. He was on a official visit to the country and his meeting with his daughter’s in-laws was a mere coincidence.

Ordinary Malaysians have to spend huge sums to attend their children’s convocations overseas. But then Najib is who, you who?

Agriculture specialists

When Anwar played poker bluff about taking over Putrajaya on 16 September 2008, Umno was terrified at the prospect. The BN quickly identified what appeared to be 50 potential ‘frogs’ from among its MPs – many from East Malaysia – and sent them speedily to Taiwan ostensibly to study agriculture!

An ex-Prime Minister in his mad, misplaced rush to promote industrialisation literally ruined agriculture. Now the Umno-dominated BN sees the error of its agriculture policies. Muhyiddin has made a call to revive agriculture so that we do not havet to spend so much on importing food.

So now is the time to make use of our “agriculture specialists” to help the poor farmers who are struggling to put body and soul together. With their wide and in-depth knowledge of agriculture they will prove an asset to the farmers. These overpaid, overfed and underworked MPs should be put into the rice fields – alongside the underfed and overworked kerbaus.


(At the bookshop, shop assistant trying to persuade shopper to buy Dr M’s book).

Shop assistant: Would you like to buy Dr M’s book?

Shopper: I wouldn’t pay 100 ringgit for it! If someone writes a book called ‘The doctor is the disease’, call me.

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