When my husband held our newborn to his bare chest to provide her skin-to-skin contact, I realised something: I was witnessing the birth of a new father.
Becoming a first-time father was probably a stressful transition for him, as it is for many new fathers.
We brought our baby home without a manual. We felt unprepared, despite having attended prenatal talks and reading books on baby care. Nevertheless, my husband changed nappies, burped the baby and sterilised my breast pumps during his seven-day paternity leave.
We know that women undergo hormonal and identity shifts during pregnancy and breastfeeding. But what about men who become fathers?
A father’s changing brain
A new father experiences profound biological and neurological changes too. This happens from pregnancy to childbirth, even though he isn’t carrying a baby for nine months, giving birth or breastfeeding. His testosterone levels can dip to promote child-rearing. His oxytocin often spikes as he holds his newborn, triggering the paternal instinct to engage in sensitive and challenging play.
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Dads who are more involved in childcare, particularly during early infancy, show more pronounced biological changes than those who are less involved.
A first-time father’s brain shows heightened plasticity during this period. Brain structures, networks and pathways become more susceptible to change. His brain undergoes rewiring, making him more neurologically attuned to a newborn’s needs and moods.
Today, working fathers and mothers juggle caregiving with providing for their families. Families in Malaysia also face intense economic demands. Working parents face a tight spot, trying to ensure economic security while giving their children quality parenting.
More than seven days
The paternity leave policy helps reinforce paternal bonding, as time spent with an infant during the postpartum period leads to neurological change in fathers, helping attachment grow.
Two years ago, the amendment to the Employment Act 1955 granted married male employees one week’s worth of paternity leave per child, for up to five children. To qualify, fathers must have worked for at least a year at the company.
The NGO Better Dads in Malaysia or BDM has pushed effectively for policy changes for fathers, initially calling for 30-day paternity leave. The group runs workshops on fathering and parent-child bonding activities centred on men’s roles in families.
BDM has taken on high-level task force positions, advising the government and the National Population and Family Development Board on parenting workshops. They have even run sessions in prisons to equip inmates with parenting skills before reintegrating into society and their families.
Co-founders Jason Leong and Joshua Hong emphasise fostering positive masculinity among men and fathers. This strategy is aimed at fighting what’s described as a “barrage of misogynistic radicalisation” facing modern society.
Such efforts are worthwhile. Last year, multiple cases of bullying, assault and gang rape among young people in Malaysia gripped national headlines. These included the stabbing of a 16-year-old girl by a 14-year-old boy.
These crimes have been described as gender-based violence carried out within schools. Unfortunately, they highlight something troubling: patriarchal masculinity, defined by domination over women, appears to have seeped into how children are socialised.
The government’s implementation of anti-bullying mechanisms, including through the tribunal, provides an avenue for justice for victims unhappy with how schools handle complaints.
Bigger push needed
But more needs to be done to support fathers in raising healthy and confident children.
The seven-day paternity leave, for instance, is hardly enough, even if it still shows progress, according to Professor Noraida Endut, the director of the Centre for Research on Women and Gender at Universiti Sains Malaysia.
Early paternal involvement in children’s lives is crucial. It leads to positive behaviour later.
The opposite is also true. When fathers are emotionally and physically distant from infants at three months and again at 12 months, children entering preschool, particularly boys, are found in some studies to be more aggressives towards peers.
BDM has called for flexible work arrangements. These include telecommuting and flexible hours, so that fathers can balance work and family life.
Malaysia’s birthrate is declining in an increasingly uncertain world. Living costs are rising, and global instability is becoming the norm. This adds to pressures facing today’s parents.
The government has recently launched the Kasih Madani 2.0 package, which offers parenting and pre-marital education. At the same time, low-income families could benefit from quality childcare services. Many find it almost impossible to afford such services.
The lack of centralisation or a single comprehensive policy has led to uneven standards among operators. Currently, reportedly 75% of childcare centres remain unlicensed, raising questions about safety, quality and accountability.
Puchong MP Yeo Bee Yin has pushed for the enactment of a single law that regulates the administration of all centres catering for children under six.
As we celebrate fathers this Father’s Day, let’s push for a society that values nurturing children.
Fathers and mothers both play a major role in raising the world’s future citizens and leaders. But governments and employers need to work together to build an ecosystem that supports parents and families.
AGENDA RAKYAT - Lima perkara utama
- Tegakkan maruah serta kualiti kehidupan rakyat
- Galakkan pembangunan saksama, lestari serta tangani krisis alam sekitar
- Raikan kerencaman dan keterangkuman
- Selamatkan demokrasi dan angkatkan keluhuran undang-undang
- Lawan rasuah dan kronisme
