Why six-year-olds are refusing to share a table

The recent issue of children refusing to sit with classmates of a different faith is rather troubling.

Puncak Borneo MP Willie Mongin said a teacher approached him to say some primary school pupils had refused to sit with their Christian or Muslim classmates. Some even said, “I don’t want to sit with them because they eat pork” and “I don’t want to sit with them because they wear a cross”.

Public debates about race and religion may filter down to children, perhaps through social media videos or what they overhear.

In Malaysia, adults in high positions of leadership sometimes seem to make hurtful statements about other religions on public platforms.

Recently, an Umno youth division chief was charged at a magistrates’ court in Kuala Lumpur with deliberately wounding the religious feelings of a Christian. The charge centres on what critics called an off-colour joke about a priest and a nun, told at his party’s 2026 general assembly in September.

The politician pleaded not guilty. He has said he did not intend to insult any religion and offered to apologise if anyone was offended. He subsequently apologised after being charged.

Jerald Joseph, director of civil society group Pusat Komas, says we rely on reactive legal measures to penalise racial and religious provocations. He says we seem to “wait for trouble to happen and jump into action” instead of resolving root causes.

Joseph highlighted this institutional gap on Astro Awani’s Consider This, hosted by Melisa Idris. The discussion was about the government’s recent decision to scrap the National Harmony Commission plan.

The government is instead focusing instead on a “practical, responsive and cost-effective approach”: strengthen the Department of National Unity and Integration, Rukun Tetangga (neighbourhood watch) and community mediators.

The scrapped commission would, however, have prioritised prevention and reconciliation over punishment.

It would have investigated issues that affect harmony, summoned people to give statements, and recommended follow-up and preventive actions to the government and relevant agencies.

It would also have handled official mediation processes and published public reports.

The National Unity Consultative Council had drafted the bill to establish the commission in 2015, and the plan was agreed on in principle in 2019. But sadly, the commission will no longer come to fruition.

Meanwhile, the country’s fracturing along ethnic and religious lines has trickled down to primary school children refusing to share tables in school.

Unity from early years

Deputy National Unity Minister R Yunesweran said the ministry would continue to strengthen the Unity kindergartens. He wants the children who attend them to “internalise the sentiment, ‘I am a child of Malaysia’”.

R Ranjithamalar, a preschool teacher at the Sri Sungai Pelek Unity Kindergarten, explains that she uses activities such as celebrating cultural festivals, staging mini-dramas, and playing group games. All of these encourage respect, cooperation, and intercultural understanding.

Cultivating a patriotic spirit is a noble goal. Education at government-funded, rural-focused unity kindergartens – including the cost of uniforms – is free, easing the burden on low-income communities.

At the same time, we need to empower children to form and express constructive opinions, so they become active agents of social change as young adults.

Unfortunately, young people who express what they think may be frowned upon and even face online harassment and threats.

University of Malaya student Ummi Umairah Bakhit criticised the donation drive to help former Prime Minister Najib Razak raise RM50m so that he can move from Kajang Prison to ‘house arrest’. After videos of her remarks went viral, she says her Instagram pictures were taken without her consent, and some people threatened to have her expelled from the university.

Communications Minister Fahmi Fadzil has condemned the bullying and threats against her. He urged victims to report such threats to the police and the Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission.

But it is not clear whether anyone has faced action. The MCMC has said it would examine what action could be taken in connection with the case.

Tackling the root causes

Perhaps we need more than modules on unity, nationhood and moral values in kindergartens, schools and universities.

Unequal wealth distribution, urban-rural divides and ethnic quotas that fail to solve economic inequality may contribute to racial friction.

Schemes privileging a particular group may have been useful at a point of time in history. Critics point out that it is mostly the well-off within that group who benefit more, excluding the poor while encouraging ethnic tension.

Redistribution based on class, along with universal social protection, fair wages and quality education, could tackle the root causes of poverty more fairly and effectively.

Also, when political rhetoric enters digital spaces, algorithms can intensify the problem. They heighten the visibility of hate speech to young audiences seeking affirmation of their beliefs.

Dr Hafidz Hakimi Haron, a senior lecturer at the School of Law, Universiti Utara Malaysia, cited Senator Dr Zulkifli Hasan in his article ‘Digital Hate, Real World Harm: Youth Radicalisation and Malaysia’s Legal Response‘.

Zulkifli, the deputy minister in the Prime Minister’s Department responsible for religious affairs, was quoted as saying: “Where there is little meaningful inter-ethnic engagement, young people become easy targets for divisive narratives.”

The article shows how groups like the Malaysian Islamic Youth Movement (Abim) have responded to online hatred. They promote digital literacy, civic education and religious literacy. This suggests that curriculum reform, empowering young people to question online content, could be the way forward.

Small steps at home

Not all of us are political leaders or kingmakers. But everyone can model healthy curiosity about difference in multireligious and multicultural Malaysia.

When my toddler and I stood outside an electronics supply store, waiting for my husband to buy an air purifier, she pointed to the Hindu temple across the street. 

“I want to go. Orange temple.”

I hesitated: “Oh, but so late. Almost 8pm, close to your bedtime.”

Trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach, I realised it was not her impending bedtime that deterred me, but my nervousness about an unfamiliar religion. 

Change comes, one tiny step at a time. Let us be brave for our children.

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