by Dr Prema Devaraj

It was a clear evening in the local market in Phnom Penh, in Cambodia. Kim was out with his friends. The day before had seen some violence and deaths in the market place and Kim and his friends had been unable to operate, for security reasons. But this evening, armed with the necessary equipment � leaflets, commitment and faith, Kim and his friends were on their rounds.

They gave leaflets to men at the market place. They talked to men, young and old, about joining the Cambodian Network for Men. They talked to men about violence, about their feelings, about their aggression and about the need to end violence against women.

In the Philippines, a new book is out. It is called �Filipino Men and Domestic Violence�, and is by Dr Romeo Lee. A group called MOVAWC (Men Opposed to Violence against Women and Children) meet regularly to discuss the issue and to strategize further.

In Thailand, Narin is attending to calls coming through to the Gentlemen�s Hotline. At first, people thought the line was a sex chat line but eventually they got the idea. The line is a help line for men in crisis.

Over a four month period, the Gentlemen�s Hotline logged over 1100 calls from men in need of advice, in need of help, men needing to talk out with other men their feelings of anger, frustration and violence.

Clearly there is a need for more such lines to be set up.

Men's Initiatives Against Violence

Although it may seem obvious that the issue of violence against women is not a �woman�s issue�, the fact is that such initiatives by men are relatively rare and relatively new.

In Malaysia, there is probably nothing equivalent. Yet at least there are some beginnings of sharings going on.

Recently, on a boat moored to the shores of Lapu-Lapu City, off Cebu island in the Phillipines, fifty people from Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and the Phillipines came together to discuss men�s initiatives towards ending violence against women.

The workshop was hosted by the Kauswagan Community Health and Social Development Center � The Community Extension Service of Cebu Doctor�s College and Men Opposed to Violence Against Women and Children (MOVAWC).

The resource person was Michael Kaufman, one of the founding members of the White Ribbon Campaign (WRC).

This campaign was initiated in Canada in the early 1990s by a group of men who had taken responsibility to speak out against violence against women and to urge other men to do likewise. They decided that the wearing of a white ribbon would be an appropriate symbol of men�s opposition to violence against women.

Although WRC�s central focus is men�s physical violence against women, WRC is also concerned that other forms of behaviour be seen as violent � including sexist joking, sexual harrassment at work, emotional abuse and domineering behavior. WRC believe that men can and must be part of the solution to violence against women.

Confronting men�s violence requires nothing less than a commitment to full equality for women and a redefinition of what it means to be men.

Male Violence

Kaufman and others have drawn attention to the causes of male violence, related to the patriachal system, men�s notion of entitlement, society�s permission and the socialization of the male child, which, among other things, generally encourages aggression, bottles up emotions, reduces empathy and predisposes men to violent reactions.

At the workshop, Kaufman stressed that understanding male violence does not excuse the violence. Far from it - men have to take responsibility and be made accountable for their violent actions.

Violence is a way of exerting power, privilege and control over another person. It is simply just not acceptable.

The workshop saw wide-ranging discussion of what is being done and what needs to be done to confront men�s role in violence against women and finding ways of ending it.

Issues debated included the need for gender-fair principles in preschool education, reformulation of primary and secondary school programmes, re-interpretation and use of key religious texts, gender-sensitive advertisements and film/programme scripts.

Hotlines, crisis centres, sports cum counselling centers, strategies involving food and discussion on domestic violence were all thrown into the pot as possible strategies for involving men, offenders and allies.

Crucially, the need for male facilitators, the need for male counsellors, the need for men to be involved in this work was seen as vital to the success of these initiatives.

As the discussions proceeded, it became very clear that a basic tenet was and is that, since men are so much a part of the problem, they also have to be part of the solution.

The workshop ended with the participants formulating guiding principles to be used in their work on men in their respective countries and a promise for networking in the future to further the work.

Creating Space to Change

The need to work with men and boys, to challenge the traditional definitions of manhood and men�s roles in society and create the space for them to change, was accepted as a basic need. In this sense, this work would complement the work done by women with women on the same issue. In fact many saw that having a partnership between men�s and women�s initiatives is vital if the work is to succeed. Men�s groups need to be in contact with women�s groups, to learn and share from efforts and experience.

Perhaps the type of humane society we are working towards, for our children�s children, would be one where both men and women are free from traditional stereotypes, where they are free to be all they can be without society�s restraints as to what gender roles should or should not be, where power, control and privilege is shared by all.

The journey will be long and challenging and yet there are those who have a vision and have already started on this path for change using gender equity, equality and justice as a foundation for this work.